Tag Archives: Gov. Greg Abbott

A Texas-Sized Conspiracy Theory.

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As they say, everything is bigger in Texas and apparently tinfoil-hat paranoia is no exception. For those in the North, aka sane people, you may not be aware of Obama’s latest attempt to subjugate the people of the South under sharia law. That’s right, as a secret Muslim, President Obama has ordered the US military to “invade” Texas, declare sharia law and turn the state over to the command of the Islamic State In Mexico (ISIM). As part of the plan, the guns of all true patriots will be confiscated and Texas Walmart stores will be converted into Muslim re-education centers.

Thanks to Texas Governor Greg Abbot, the only ones standing in the way of this insidious plan are the members of the Texas National Guard who have been ordered to monitor the activities of the US military as it conducts training exercises under the guise of Jade Helm 15. (That’s right. There have been 14 previous such military exercises.)

Believe it or not, I am not quoting a satirical story from The Onion. That is the actual story as presented by radio host, Alex Jones and Facebook lunatic, Pete Lanteri.

Of course, wherever you find this sort of tinfoil-hat-like hysteria, you know the Tea Party Patriots will be fully onboard with it. They add to the paranoia through their meetings and chain emails. Then, because nobody on the right is willing to debunk such nonsense, the rumors continue to persist and grow. Almost before you can say sharia, the paranoia has gone mainstream, infecting the minds of ordinary people who are convinced that where there’s smoke, there must be fire.

The story has become so widespread in Texas and other parts of the Southwest that common sense and repeated assurances by the Obama administration and the Department of Defense have been unable to put an end to the theory.

Of course, when Operation Jade Helm (the training exercise) has ended and the conspiracy theory has not materialized, the perpetuators of the theory will take credit for stopping the takeover. “Were it not for their shining the light of publicity on the operation, our worst fears would have been realized. Without us, Alex Jones and Pete Lanteri, we would all be unarmed and praying to Allah for our freedom.” Of course, they’ll say you can reward them by listening to Jones’ radio show, reading Lanteri’s Facebook rants and patronizing their patriotic sponsors.

As H.L. Mencken once said, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” That goes double for Texas.

America’s Biggest Losers.

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Texans have always been proud of their state’s size and independence as clearly expressed in the tourism slogan: ” It’s like a whole other country.”

Since the territory was annexed from Mexico, Texans have seemed to deny their relationship to the US, proudly referring to their state as “The great republic of Texas.” In 1861, the state declared its secession from the US and joined the Confederate States of America which fought to maintain slavery. More recently, former Texas governor and wannabe US president, Rick Perry, again raised the possibility of secession after an African-American was elected president.

Obviously, the state has not fully embraced the notion of statehood, except when there is an obvious economic benefit, such as lucrative oil and gas subsidies, the deployment of US Border Patrol agents to stem the immigration of Mexicans into their former colony, or the construction of military bases within its borders. In fact, many Texans seem to view the US in the same way they viewed their former landlords. They want the benefits of statehood, they want to control the land and all of its resources. But they refuse to acknowledge national supremacy when it comes to obeying laws and paying taxes.

These attitudes have never been more apparent than now.

You see, recently, the US Department of Defense announced a coordinated training exercise involving government troops stationed in Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas and Utah. The training exercise, called Jade Helm 15, is not the first such exercise to be held in Texas. But it is the first to be held with an African-American occupying the White House. So, not too surprisingly, the right-wing conspiracy theories have run wild. A number of Texans have become convinced that the US military is coming to take away Texas’ freedom; that US troops are coming for their guns; that US troops are going to enslave Texans on behalf of the United Nations.

Not even public meetings with military leaders could dissuade Texans from their batcrap crazy notions. The racist conspiracy theorists openly accused the leaders of trying to sell them a pack of lies. Given such lunacy, one would think the state’s top office-holder would step in and reassure his constituents.

Of course, he did.

But instead of bringing some sanity to the situation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that he was ordering the Texas National Guard to “monitor” the military exercises saying, “During the training operation, it is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed.”

This is going to be fun!

So the branches of the US military, with all of their weaponry are going to be “monitored” by the weekend warriors of the Texas National Guard? And, if it is determined that the constitutional rights of Texans are in danger of being infringed, the Guard is going to act. But who determines those rights are in danger? The governor? The lead conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones? The Texas Tea Party rabble? Are we to believe that the many loyal Texans in the military are going to willingly enslave their friends and neighbors? And if they try, do the Texas lunatics think their Guard is so powerful that it can defeat the world’s most powerful military?

The slogan says that Texas is “like a whole other country.” That is certainly true. But many of its residents seem to be from a whole other planet!