As they say, everything is bigger in Texas and apparently tinfoil-hat paranoia is no exception. For those in the North, aka sane people, you may not be aware of Obama’s latest attempt to subjugate the people of the South under sharia law. That’s right, as a secret Muslim, President Obama has ordered the US military to “invade” Texas, declare sharia law and turn the state over to the command of the Islamic State In Mexico (ISIM). As part of the plan, the guns of all true patriots will be confiscated and Texas Walmart stores will be converted into Muslim re-education centers.
Thanks to Texas Governor Greg Abbot, the only ones standing in the way of this insidious plan are the members of the Texas National Guard who have been ordered to monitor the activities of the US military as it conducts training exercises under the guise of Jade Helm 15. (That’s right. There have been 14 previous such military exercises.)
Believe it or not, I am not quoting a satirical story from The Onion. That is the actual story as presented by radio host, Alex Jones and Facebook lunatic, Pete Lanteri.
Of course, wherever you find this sort of tinfoil-hat-like hysteria, you know the Tea Party Patriots will be fully onboard with it. They add to the paranoia through their meetings and chain emails. Then, because nobody on the right is willing to debunk such nonsense, the rumors continue to persist and grow. Almost before you can say sharia, the paranoia has gone mainstream, infecting the minds of ordinary people who are convinced that where there’s smoke, there must be fire.
The story has become so widespread in Texas and other parts of the Southwest that common sense and repeated assurances by the Obama administration and the Department of Defense have been unable to put an end to the theory.
Of course, when Operation Jade Helm (the training exercise) has ended and the conspiracy theory has not materialized, the perpetuators of the theory will take credit for stopping the takeover. “Were it not for their shining the light of publicity on the operation, our worst fears would have been realized. Without us, Alex Jones and Pete Lanteri, we would all be unarmed and praying to Allah for our freedom.” Of course, they’ll say you can reward them by listening to Jones’ radio show, reading Lanteri’s Facebook rants and patronizing their patriotic sponsors.
As H.L. Mencken once said, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” That goes double for Texas.