Let’s Help Texas Secede.

On several occasions, Texas Gov. Rick Perry suggested that the Republic of Texas might secede from the United States.  He meant it as a threat, but after first ridiculing the idea, I’ve come to embrace it.

Let’s consider the benefits.

If Texas, Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina and Tennessee (Yes, I know this isn’t all of the original Confederacy, but the others have better embraced their statehood.) were allowed to secede, the level of education in the US would improve overnight.  At the same time, the number of impoverished would plummet.  We would also improve the United States’ international rankings with regard to incarceration and capital punishment.

Moreover, the US would dramatically reduce the number of assault rifles and handguns within its borders.  We would rid ourselves of the evangelical crackpots on the Texas school board responsible for rewriting textbooks to whitewash history.  We would improve the percentage of our population with health insurance. And since most of the Tea Party crackpots in Congress come from the former Confederacy, the level of political discourse would likely improve.

I know this plan seems radical, but I think it best.  Many of the former Confederate states have long been openly hostile to the federal government, even threatening to “exercise their 2nd Amendment rights.”  In Arizona, there are legislative bills calling for state sovereignty of national parks and all federal lands.  And many of these states have refused to accept the legitimacy of the Affordable Care Act despite a Supreme Court ruling.

For the states that do secede, they finally could have the theocratic government they seem to so desire.  They could completely ignore science.  They would no longer have to accept the billions in federal money that have been thrust upon them to provide food and medicine for their poor.  And unless they continue their hostility to foreign visitors, they could replace Mexico and Jamaica as warm weather destinations for US tourists.

Of course, the plan is not without downsides.  We would have to move many of our military bases to Union states.  Football could suffer without Texas and Florida athletes, but since we already embrace foreign nationals for basketball and baseball, we could make accommodation for football players.  We would lose much of the domestic oil production and refineries, but all of that oil and gas is sold on world markets, anyway.  And since I live in Arizona, I’d have to sell my home at a loss in order to move back to the US.

Nevertheless, I encourage you to give my plan serious thought.  If you do, I’m confident you’ll see that the many benefits outweigh the negatives.